Don’t run from the fires of conflicts
Big Idea: Don’t avoid conflicts with Christians, but seek God’s will to resolve, strengthen, and sometimes part ways, trusting in God’s grace for the outcome.
1. The fruits of a good resolution
2. The pain of a broken partnership
3. Trusting God’s grace for the outcome
A Christian once asked a question on X, formerly known as Twitter, “what kind of fights have you seen in your Church?”
Two people responded by saying that the kind of coffee they have at morning tea started fights at Church.
Some people wanted the cheap brand while others wanted the famous brand.
Some people even left the Church because they couldn’t agree.
Another big topic that caused fights at Church was the length of the pastor’s beard.
Some say pastors shouldn’t have beards and other pastors can have beards to a certain length.
It was actually a big thing in America, where some Church would quote the Bible (often not in a helpful way) to say whether pastors can have beards or not.
I’ve tried to grow moustache once and my family and one pastor told me to never do it again, not because of biblical reasons but for cosmetic reasons.
I guess I don’t look good with moustache or beard.
While it might sound strange to us to hear Churches split over issues like instant coffee and moustaches on pastors,
Churches have had conflicts over small and large issues for almost two thousand years.
But aren’t Christians supposed to love one another?
Are we supposed to be nice and friendly?
Then, whey aren’t Churches conflict-free?
If you have your Bible there, please open with me to Acts chapter 15, beginning from verse thirty.
There we will see how the Church faced conflicts on a large scale and on a personal level.
We’ll see three things:
1. The fruits of a good resolution
2. The pain of a broken partnership
3. Trusting God’s grace for the outcome
Before we look into it, let’s pray, “Father, we thank you for your word the Bible. By your Holy Spirit, please help us to listen, to ponder, and to resolve to live according to the truth of your word, that we may glorify Jesus, who reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever, Amen.”
1. The fruits of a good resolution
Last week, we were looking at the beginning of Acts chapter 15, and we saw a form of teaching that could potentially cause a major split in the Church.
You see, there were Jews from the Judean Church that said that unless someone is circumcised, they could not be saved.
However, Paul and Barnabas had a very serious argument with them and took the matter to the Church leaders in Jerusalem.
This meeting came to be known as the Jerusalem Council.
During the discussions, the apostle Peter pointed out that God himself made no difference between a Jewish believer and a Gentile (non-Jewish) believer.
The apostles Paul and Barnabas, who had just had an incredibly fruitful ministry among the Gentiles in their first missionary trip together.
Finally, James stood up and responded with a reference to the Bible and exhorted the Jerusalem Council to not make it any more difficult for the Gentiles but to encourage the new Gentile believers to “abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, and from eating anything that has been strangled, and from blood.” (Acts 15:20)
They asked this of the Gentile believers so that it will be known publicly that even though they weren’t Jews, neither were they like the rest of the Gentiles.
Like the Jewish believers, the Gentile believers were saved from sin and death, and they were called to live holy lives for the Lord Jesus.
The Jerusalem Council sent Paul and Barnabas, Judas called Barsabbas and Silas, to bring a letter of their resolution to Antioch.
That’s where we find ourselves in today’s passage, beginning from verse 30, “So they were sent off and went down to Antioch, and after gathering the assembly, they delivered the letter. 31 When they read it, they rejoiced because of its encouragement.” (Acts 15:30-31)
The confusion and the conflict that began in chapter 15 are resolved, and this new group from Jerusalem has come not only to bring the message of resolution but to help them live out the implications of this resolution.
Over the past few months, the wardens, the Parish Council, and I have spent a lot of time with School Infrastructure New South Wales to see how we can work together while the school is getting redeveloped.
We have had meetings, drafted plans, changed plans, drafted agreements, and changed agreements.
We’ve got the fully signed document a few weeks ago, and now we’re seeing the implications of the agreements that we’ve made.
We’re seeing our resolutions becoming a reality!
There will be adjustments along the way, but it’s been exciting to see that it’s finally happening!
The Jerusalem Council debated about the issue of the Gentile believers and arrived at a resolution.
They even wrote down a letter to tell Gentile brothers and sisters in Antioch about their resolution.
The Gentile Christians rejoiced when they heard the message, but that was only the start.
The Christians, both Jews and Gentiles, must actively live out the implications of their resolution.
The cause of the conflict was the confusion about whether Gentile Christians are real Christians.
As part of the resolution, they sent a group of brothers to personally deliver the message that Gentile Christians were real Christians, not second-class Christians.
This group of Christian brothers encouraged and strengthened the brothers and sisters in Antioch.
As Christians, whether Jewish or Gentile, they needed to be encouraged and strengthened by more mature Christians, to keep trusting in Jesus, and to keep following Jesus.
They didn’t just speak a few token words of encouragement but spent some time, most possibly a considerable time there.
The Church in Antioch was in conflict because of Jewish teachers from Judea who taught that they had to become a Jew to be saved.
The Church in Jerusalem heard and clarified that you don’t have to be a Jew to be saved.
The messengers would’ve affirmed what Peter told the Jerusalem council, that God made no distinction between Jews and Gentiles but cleanses the hearts of both by faith, that is, it is by faith in Jesus, it’s by trusting him alone, that anyone is saved.
The Church in Antioch then sent these messengers back in peace.
The conflict at Antioch had resolved in peace. Judas and Silas went back to Jerusalem in peace while Paul and Barnabas stayed, taught, and proclaimed the word of the Lord.
Were they teaching and proclaiming the good news by themselves? No! They did it with many others.
The Church in Antioch now had a group of many teachers who grew and taught and proclaimed the word of the Lord alongside Paul and Barnabas. What a beautiful picture of growth!
Now imagine for a second that the Church of Antioch just let the Jewish leaders from Judea continue to teach that you must be a Jew to be saved.
Imagine that they allow the teaching to happen because they wanted to avoid conflict and to keep the peace in the Church.
It’s not hard to think of some of the reasons they could’ve given.
“Oh, it’s a doctrinal issue. Let’s just not cause any trouble so that we can keep the peace and keep the unity.”
“Look, everyone has their different opinions about what the Bible says. Who are we to say that they were wrong?”
They could’ve avoided the conflict and the debates in the Jerusalem Council, but that would lead to a terrible compromise of God’s far superior message of the gospel.
If they had just let this teaching happen, they would’ve distorted God’s gospel of grace into a religion of good works.
It would cause serious damage to the Church and the gospel if they avoided the conflict.
The Christian world would be poorer if they didn’t have the robust discussions an debates at the Jerusalem Council.
Friends, as Christians, we are to be loving to everyone, including our enemies. Romans 12:18-19 tells us, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.”
We are to love one another, just as Christ has loved us.
And because we love one another, we must speak God’s truth in love.
We mustn’t avoid conflicts if it means a compromise of God’s word.
We might think avoiding conflicts about God’s word might be loving, but it’s not.
The truth of God’s word reveals the beauty of God’s love, as shown in His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
We can only love truly by knowing and revealing the Only Son of God, the One whom God loves, as we obey and teach God’s word.
As Christians respectfully enter into conflict, humbly seeking God’s will, we see true love and genuine unity among Christians.
The conflict and confusion about the salvation of Gentiles ultimately led to a resolution that in turn led to encouraging, strengthening, and rejoicing among the Church in Antioch.
Don’t run away when genuine, humble Christians have conflicts about God’s teaching.
Engage in robust, Christ-centred discussion and let God teach us together.
One of the things I enjoy about our KOG Growth groups and the School of Christian Living is that we can have good, godly conflicts together.
I’m not talking about people who are deliberately divisive because they think they are cleverer, or they think they’re doing the group a favour by always giving an alternative route.
It’s not clever and it often wastes precious Bible study time.
Instead, I mean those who genuinely want to think about what the Bible says and want to push the Bible discussions further and deeper.
These include those who want to make sure we haven’t spent so much time talking about God’s love that we haven’t talked about his righteous anger.
It’s those who are not satisfied with half-hearted answers but haven’t explored the full implications of the passage.
It’s often when we have these good, godly conflicts that the group comes alive and we grow all the stronger for it.
Don’t avoid conflicts with Christians but look for God’s will and find out how we can resolve the issue in a godly way, strengthening one another and helping one another to trust Jesus even more.
2. The pain of a broken partnership
As good as we might try, not all conflicts resolve as beautifully and as neatly as what happened at Antioch.
Look with me at verses 36-38, “After some time had passed, Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit the brothers and sisters in every town where we have preached the word of the Lord and see how they’re doing.” 37 Barnabas wanted to take along John who was called Mark. 38 But Paul insisted that they should not take along this man who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone on with them to the work.”
Barnabas wanted to take John Mark on their mission back to visit the churches on their missionary journey.
Who was John Mark?
Earlier, Barnabas and Paul took him to Jerusalem, after they completed their mission to bring relief from the Gentile churches to the church in Jerusalem. John Mark also went with them to Cyprus as they began their first missionary trip.
However, rather than going with them to Paphos to Pisidian Antioch, John Mark deserted them and went back to Jerusalem.
When Paul found out that Barnabas wanted to take John Mark, Paul made it clear that he did not want to risk the missionary journey by taking John Mark with them.
However, Barnabas insisted on taking him.
This resulted in a serious crack in the Paul and Barnabas missionary partnership.
When I was growing up, there was a famous British band called Oasis. Anyone heard of it?
Two members of the band were the Gallagher brothers, Liam and Noel.
Together, they wrote and performed some of the most memorable songs in recent British rock history.
Though they were brothers, they were often at each other’s throats.
Noel once described Liam as “the angriest man you’ll ever meet,” adding, “He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”
They would physically fight against one another in public.
Things got so bad that Noel quit the band in 2009.
Now, I’m not saying that Paul and Barnabas were anything like Noel and Liam Gallagher.
There was no mention of any fights, but things got pretty heated between them. The tension between them was so high that they decided to part ways.
How did the conflict between them get this far?
Let’s start with Barnabas.
The name Barnabas means ‘son of encouragement’ and it was a nickname that the apostles gave him because he was such an encouragement (his real name was Joseph).
When Saul became a Christian, no other Christians would accept Saul as a brother in Christ except for Barnabas. When Barnabas saw the Church of Antioch was growing, the first person he thought of who could help was Saul, who was called Paul.
Barnabas was a huge encouragement to many Christians, especially to Paul.
Yes, John Mark did fail and should not have deserted them.
However, rather than dismissing him, Barnabas wanted to give him another chance.
Not only was John Mark a brother in Christ, but he was also a cousin of Barnabas.
True to his encouraging nature, Barnabas wanted to take John Mark with them on their second mission trip.
However, Paul would not agree to Barnabas’ decision.
John Mark deserted them before. What if he does it again?
John Mark left them when the opposition against them was about to heat up.
Paul was stoned at Lystra and was so badly hurt that the Lycaonians thought that he had died.
Where was John Mark then? Would John Mark be able to stand the heat this time?
At the end, they decided to part ways. Barnabas and Mark would sail to Cyprus, and Paul and Silas would go north on land through Syria and Cilicia.
If we look at the map, it would seem like the two groups would retrace the first missionary journey, but in opposite directions.
Barnabas and John Mark would follow the original itinerary by sailing to Cyprus, but Paul and Silas would go from Antioch and travel through Syria and Cilicia, to perhaps go back to Derbe.
Derbe, of course, was the last stop of Paul and Barnabas’ first missionary trip, before they returned to the towns where they’d preached before.
We don’t have a lot of details, but what we do know is that these two solid, committed, Christ-loving Christians had to part ways because of differences in opinions.
I know that some of us might want to be on Team Barnabas and others want to be on Team Paul.
Some of us might emphasise giving people a second chance, and others might say that John Mark is not fit for the demands of a missionary service.
However, the Bible doesn’t tell us which team we ought to belong to.
The Bible doesn’t tell us that Barnabas was too soft or that Paul was too strict.
It doesn’t tell us that we should focus on the individual or the larger mission.
It simply tells us that the two apostles parted ways and started on two different missionary journeys.
Friends, this is one of the reasons why we don’t like conflicts in churches.
It brings pain, and it can sometimes even bring an end to good, solid gospel partnerships.
Unlike the Jerusalem council, the differences in here are not clear doctrinal differences, but personal differences.
And this conflict is not between two young, hot-headed men but two seasoned, godly, wise, and loving Christian apostles.
If conflicts and serious disagreements can happen between Paul and Barnabas, then it can certainly happen to us.
Conflicts happen because we are finite and sinful and we still struggle with sin and with our own limitations.
And though we might have good biblical reasons for our position, there are times when it’s wise to part ways.
As sad as that might seem at the time, even the parting of ways in gospel partnerships happens according to the plans of a loving and wise God.
While the end of many gospel partnerships is often due to anger or other ungodly issues, not all of them end that way.
In England right now, there are many bishops whose decisions don’t align with what the Bible teaches.
And so, many Anglican churches have to decide: should they stay or should they go?
If they stay, they may still be able to make a difference in the denomination.
If they go, they may be able to reach more people without a lot of interference from their bishops.
There are good, godly churches on both sides.
And though while they chose different paths, they are still seen one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
They might have chosen a different ministry path, but they are still travelling on the same road, the same Way; they are still following Jesus.
Friends, as Christians, we should not be surprised by conflicts, even conflicts that end gospel partnerships.
Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in the Christian life, and in the Christian Church.
However, we know that even though we may be saddened by disagreements and conflicts, we can trust God’s grace for the outcome.
3. Trusting God’s grace for the outcome
How did the Church in Antioch respond to the end of the Paul/Barnabas Gospel partnership?
Look with at the second half of verse 40, “after being commended by the brothers and sisters to the grace of the Lord”
Even though in our English translation, there is a full stop at the end of verse 39, and so it looks like the Church in Antioch only commended Paul and Silas, verses 39-40 is a long sentence in the original language.
And so, Church would’ve commended Paul and Silas, as well as Barnabas and John Mark, to the grace of God.
They are entrusting both sets of missionaries to God’s grace, praying that God will continue to lead them both on their separate paths.
That’s so different to how most people respond to conflicts!
Remember what happened in the Corinthian Church?
They aligned themselves with different apostles: Some say they belong to Paul, others say they belong to Apollos, and so on.
In contrast, the Church in Antioch didn’t take sides.
Instead, they commended both Paul and Barnabas to the Lord.
The word commended literally means ‘handing over’.
They entrusted these two brothers to God’s grace and presented both to the Lord in prayer.
That’s a beautiful and godly response to godly men who parted ways.
The Church at Antioch knew that they had good and godly reasons and even though they might not understand how this would play out, they commended these two men to the Lord.
They knew that though they have parted ways now, they were still brothers in Christ.
In God’s wisdom, their parting of the ways meant that there are now two missionary teams instead of one.
And more than that, even though they had a sharp disagreement and parted ways, they didn’t hold a grudge against one another.
In 1 Corinthians 9:5-6, Paul referred to Barnabas as a fellow labourer for the Kingdom of heaven.
In one of his final letters, Paul even asked for John Mark’s help in 2 Timothy 4:11.
Why would Paul ask for John Mark’s help in his time of need when he refused to have him on his mission trip at Antioch?
We don’t know the reasons for sure, but at the very least, it must be because he thought that John Mark was finally ready.
Perhaps both Paul and Barnabas were right about John Mark.
Paul was right in that John Mark wasn’t ready for the demands of being a Christian missionary and Barnabas was right to take him and to patiently restore him so that he would grow as a Christian missionary.
Without Paul’s sharp words about John Mark, John Mark might not have understood the responsibility and the demands of being a missionary.
Perhaps, shaken by Paul’s words, John Mark was even more ready to humbly learn from Barnabas so that he would one day be ready, and even be useful for Paul.
What lessons can we learn from this?
When godly, committed Christians disagree and even part ways, there are a few things we can do together as a Church:
1. Commend them to God’s grace. Pray for all sides, and not only the sides that you gravitate to. Entrust them to God.
2. Don’t take sides, especially when both men have good, godly reasons for their decisions.
One of the most hurtful things we can do is to take sides without hearing from both sides. It’s both foolish and ungodly.
3. At the same time, don’t just ignore it.
Some people say that conflicts are like broken glass: try to pick up the pieces and you’ll get hurt.
And so, we sweep it under the carpet and avoid it like a plague.
I’ve seen and met very talkative people who will literally stop speaking if you ask them what they thought about conflicts.
However, leaving conflicts unresolved doesn’t make them go away.
You will have to face them one day, especially if you’re the leader.
4. And don’t merge the last two points, saying that you are not taking sides but secretly and actively taking one side, in order to undermine the other. That’s a horrible thing to do.
5. As a Church, pray that the parties involved, along with the Church as a whole, will guard ourselves against bitterness and divisiveness.
We need to recognise that it’s the Lord whom we serve, and we must place His interest above ours.
Whatever decision we arrive at, we must keep proclaiming the Word of the Lord, strengthening His churches and bringing people from the domain of darkness into the Kingdom of the Son, whom He loves.
If we are going to be a Church that reflects God’s will for his people, then we will be a Church where different types of people are welcomed.
We will welcome people who are different from us, whether they are different in terms of culture, language, intellect, social standing, physical wellness, or mental wellness.
Can you really expect to put all different sorts of people together and expect all of us to live in perfect harmony?
Can you expect that we will be perfectly patient with one another and perfectly love one another?
Can you really expect that? Yes! But not right now.
We will love each other perfectly and we won’t have conflicts when we gather with every Christian before the throne of Jesus in heaven.
But until that day, expect conflicts to come.
When you do face conflicts, entrust them to the Lord, entrust the parties involved to the Lord.
Pray that the Spirit of peace will so move in our hearts that we will not take sides but forgive, that will not let it divide us but work to resolve it in Christ.
God in his wisdom may bring about resolutions of the conflicts in this life, just as he did through the Jerusalem council.
Or he may in His wisdom wait until the day all believers come to see him face to face, where every tear will be wiped, and every pain will be healed, for Jesus himself makes everything new.
And so, why aren’t Churches conflict-free?
Because we are finite sinners, and as soon as we step into a hypothetically perfect Church, we will make it imperfect.
As imperfect sinners, we will bring conflicts and disagreements into Churches.
And so, don’t expect Churches to be perfect and conflict-free now because we’re not in heaven.
We will face disagreements and conflicts now, even in Churches.
However, we mustn’t run away from it, nor let it destroy the love we have for one another in Christ.
When conflicts arise, turn to God, as we seek his will in both his words the Bible and as we pray.
Pray that we will not seek our own wisdom but to trust him to help us resolve and to strengthen one another.
Pray that we’ll keep trusting in God, even when it’s time for gospel partnerships to end.
Friends, don’t avoid conflicts with Christians, but seek God’s will to resolve, strengthen, and sometimes part ways, trusting in God’s grace for the outcome.
Here are three questions for us to think about this week.
1. How did you respond to the last conflict between Christians?
2. In conflicts, what might “adding oil” or “pouring water” to the conflict look like?
3. Looking back at the conflict, how did God show his grace both in conflict and afterwards?
Friends, don’t avoid conflicts with Christians, but seek God’s will to resolve, strengthen, and sometimes part ways, trusting in God’s grace for the outcome.
Let’s pray, “Father, we thank you that sent your Son to save us, even when we were your enemies. Father thank you for showing us what real love is. Please forgive us when we don’t love you as we should and love one another as we ought. Father, please give us your Spirit of Wisdom and love when conflicts arise among us. Let us face them with integrity and love, always seeking your will. By your Spirit of peace, let us resolve and strengthen one another. Father, we pray that despite our weaknesses, please use us to bring your word to the world, even if it formal gospel partnerships come to an end. Father, we commend one another and all of our ministries to you. May your saving message continue to be heard through us and after we’re gone, for we pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”