How a bitter mother-in-law became sweet again
Passage: Ruth 4:9-17
Big Idea: ‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, who builds households through mothers and who renews our lives by giving us his.
1. Mothers are builders
2. A son born to redeem a bitter mother
3. The Son dies to redeem and renew
One of my favourites shows at the moment is called Andor.
Has anyone seen it?
It’s based on Star Wars and so it does have spaceships and aliens.
But one of the scariest scenes for me was the appearance of a small, little lady.
She looked harmless on the outside and has a really big smile.
But don’t be fooled! She gets really scary when she opens her mouth.
Why? Do things fly out of her mouth? Does she become a monster?
No. Worse! She says really bitter and hurtful words to her adult son and you can see the effect that was having on the man.
That was season one.
In season two, she makes a comeback, but now as the mother-in-law who meets her son’s wife for the first time.
All I can say is, don’t watch it alone; watch it with a friend.
The mother, now mother-in-law’s words are scary.
Of course, not all mothers-in-law are like that.
There are wonderful mothers-in-law here and I’m very blessed to have a wonderful and godly mother-in-law.
But there are some mothers and mothers-in-law that can be scary.
I don’t think that they’ve always been scary. I’m sure many had been a sweet and innocent girl at one stage.
How did they become that way?
And what do you do with a sweet bride who becomes a bitter mother-in-law?
That’s what we’re going to see in today’s passage.
If you have your Bible there, please open up to Ruth chapter four, beginning from verse 9.
We’ll see three things:
1. Mothers are builders
2. A son born to redeem a bitter mother
3. The Son dies to redeem and renew
Before we look into it, let’s pray, “Father, our hearts are completely lost without you. By your Holy Spirit, turn our hearts towards you now as we hear from your words, that we might be more like Jesus, in whose name we pray, Amen.”
1. Mothers are builders
A long time ago in ancient Israel, there was a young mother named Naomi, which means ‘sweet’.
She lived with her husband Elimelech and their two sons, Mahlon and Chilion.
Due to a severe famine in Israel, they left their home country seeking a better life in a new land.
Many migrants to Australia could relate to their journey.
However, tragedy struck the family when Elimelech died and ten years later, both sons also died.
Back then, it was the men who provided for the family, which makes it very difficult for Naomi and her daughters-in-law to survive.
Facing hardship, Naomi decided to leave, and Ruth returned with her.
When Naomi returned, the women were shocked to see who it was.
They said, “Can this be Naomi?”
It was her, but she asked them not to call her Naomi, not to call her sweet anymore.
Here’s what she said in Ruth chapter one verse 20-21, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara,” she answered, “for the Almighty has made me very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the LORD has opposed me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?”
She had become bitter, and life had been so hard.
But guess what? Though she was bitter (probably even bitter towards God), God showed her kindness and grace.
We don’t have time to go into all the details but go home and read the story of Ruth and Naomi for yourself.
It’s a beautiful story of hope, resilience, and love.
And today, we get to see the happy ending of the story.
Boaz, one of their relatives, came to their rescue.
He was willing to take on the responsibility of buying the land that belonged to Naomi’s husband and marrying Ruth.
In doing so, he saved Naomi and Ruth from poverty and ensured that their family’s name would live on.
As some of you know, my daughter Zoe’s getting married in just 34 days!
Who else is counting?
She told me that she’s getting someone to film the whole thing.
Today’s passage is like getting to the part when the minister says to my future son-in-law, “You may kiss the bride.”
That’s what’s happening here.
Boaz is committed to give sacrificially for the sake of his wife, Ruth.
When Boaz made his commitment, all the people there were called to be witnesses.
They then gave two blessings for the new couple.
These two blessings were really focused on the mothers of the Bible.
Look with me from the middle of verse 11, “We are witnesses. May the LORD make the woman who is entering your house like Rachel and Leah, who together built the house of Israel. May you be powerful in Ephrathah and your name well known in Bethlehem. 12 May your house become like the house of Perez, the son Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring the LORD will give you by this young woman.”
First, they blessed Ruth by praying that God would make her like Rachel and Leah.
Rachel and Leah, Jacob’s wives, along with their maidservants, gave birth to the twelve sons of Jacob, also known as Israel, forming the twelve tribes.
The Bible emphasises their role in building the House of Israel, though ultimately it was God who made his promise directly to Jacob.
We don’t have time to go through the story of Rachel and Leah in detail, but it’s also a story that highlights God’s kindness.
The people blessed Ruth, praying that she would play her vital role in building the house of Boaz, just as Rachel and Leah played their roles in building the house of Israel.
Second, they also blessed Boaz, that he would be famous in Ephrathah and well known in his home town Bethlehem.
And they’re praying that his house would be like Perez, son of Tamar, who bore him to the man Judah.
Tamar was also a foreign woman who married into Judah’s family.
She was unfairly treated and did something she wasn’t proud of, but God had mercy on her too.
Again, read the story of Tamar when you get a chance.
Tamar eventually gave birth to Perez, an ancestor of Boaz.
Rachel and Leah, along with their maid servants, and Tamar all played a crucial role as mothers in building their households.
They all have a vital role to play in their homes, and now the people blesses Ruth and ask God to help her play her part as a builder of Boaz’s household, just like the other mothers of old.
If you’re a mom, you have a vital role to play in building your own household.
Some of you might work full-time at home and list your job as homemaker.
Others might work outside the home.
But no matter what, you’re all homebuilders.
You’re building your homes, and we’re so grateful for you all.
We thank God that through you, he builds households and through the households that you builds through you, he builds nations.
If you’re not the mum in your household, please take a moment to thank her today.
Don’t take her for granted. Thank God for her and also thank her today.
Help her build the household you’re living in to be one that honours God and is filled with love.
I know a Christian family with at least three boys.
I don’t know them that well, but the boys I know are super smart, kind, and God-honouring.
They’re some of the smartest people I’ve ever met.
And as smart and godly as they are, I heard that their mum was even smarter than them!
Their mom is godly and intelligent, and she taught the boys so that they, too, would walk in God’s way and be intelligent thinkers.
Her influence wasn’t just in the home she built, but also in the lives of many who are inspired by the boys’ service to both God and man.
So, let’s honour our mothers who helped build the homes we live in today.
2. A son born to redeem a bitter mother
So, what happened to Naomi after Ruth and Boaz got married?
Did she just fade away into the background?
Well, not at all!
The Bible actually focused on her more than the couple after they got married.
After they got married, God gave Ruth a son.
Now, the story shifts to the bond between Naomi and this newborn baby.
Remember in Ruth chapter 1 when Naomi returned to Israel and told the women of the town that the Lord had brought her back empty and afflicted her?
Well, in Ruth chapter 4 verse 14, this is what the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the LORD, who has not left you without a family redeemer today. May his name become well known in Israel.”
Throughout the story, Boaz was seen as the family redeemer who came to Naomi’s and Ruth’s rescue.
But now, with the birth of their son, the little one takes the place as the family redeemer to Naomi.
It’s a little like this: in the royal family, there’s a strict order of succession.
If anything happens to King Charles, Prince William is next in line.
If anything happens to him, his son Prince George is next in line, and so on.
Before Prince George was born, it would’ve been William, followed by his brother Harry.
But with the birth of Prince George, Harry’s position slipped down the line.
He’s now eighth in line, instead of third.
Naomi’s family had one man qualified to redeem them, but he refused to pay the price.
Boaz, next in line, stepped up, and took the responsibly to redeem Naomi and Ruth.
But now, with the birth of a new son, he’s the closest redeemer.
When the boy grows up, he’ll have the responsibility and resources to care for Naomi.
After the boy was born, the women blessed this little boy too!
They’re praying that he’ll be known not just in Bethlehem but all over Israel.
They also praised Naomi’s daughter-in-law Ruth as someone who loved Naomi and was better to her than seven sons.
Ruth’s given birth to this little boy who will take care of Naomi, who will renew her life and sustain her in her old age.
Naomi took the little boy and placed him on her lap; she became his nanny and was like a mother to him.
Though this boy was born to Boaz and Ruth, he would be like a son to Naomi.
The women of the town called him Obed.
Obed would indeed become the family redeemer to Naomi, but he would become more.
He would have a son named Jesse, who would later have a son named David, who would become Israel’s most famous King.
God has been good to Naomi, hasn’t he?
God has turned Naomi’s bitterness into sweetness.
Instead of death and futility, he brought life and fertility to Naomi’s household.
Instead of widowhood, he brought marriage to Ruth.
Instead of poverty, he brought redemption to them both.
Instead of being forgotten, their names and their stories are now recorded in the Bible.
And as if that’s not enough, they will forever be associated with the name of King David.
One of the things I love about the Bible is how honestly it describes how weak we are.
The Bible recorded Naomi of saying that it was the Lord Almighty who made her very bitter.
Life can get hard and bitter, and our natural response is to become hardened and embittered by it.
As we age, it’s easy to let the ups and downs of life get to us, and sometimes, that bitterness can seep into our hearts.
The bitterness shows itself when we start thinking the worst of others.
Friends, if you do find yourself in that place, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge it.
Don’t try to sugarcoat it or blame it on others.
Recognise that bitterness is a sign that there might be something going on in your heart.
But, here’s the thing: trying to fix your bitterness on your own won’t work.
Bitterness is a symptom of a deeper issue, and if you don’t address the root cause, it’ll only going to make things worse.
And for those of you who see bitterness in others, don’t immediately reject them.
Don’t keep your distance because they seem negative.
Chances are, they’ve been through something tough that’s made them bitter about life.
I’ve met many people who’ve gone through incredibly difficult circumstances that have left them scarred and especially bitter towards certain things or even certain people.
While the difficulties they face don’t necessarily justify their bitterness, it doesn’t help if you just cut yourself off from them.
They might make you want to run away, but they need you and your love way more than they know.
Instead of trying to change them, pray for them.
Pray that they may know the Son who died to redeem and renew their lives.
3. The Son dies to redeem and renew
Imagine you’re Ruth, and you’re in a foreign country with no money and no family except a bitter mother-in-law who calls herself Bitter.
Things could’ve gone really bad between you and Naomi.
But you loved Naomi and were willing to be with her even when she was going through a tough time.
You’re committed to taking care of your bitter mother-in-law and have promised that Naomi’s God will be your God.
And guess what? It was ultimately Naomi’s God, now Ruth’s God, who turned Naomi’s bitterness into sweetness.
That moment of sweetness came when Ruth gave birth to her son with Boaz.
And that sweetness is a sign of things to come, a taste of the sweetness that will come with Ruth’s greater Son, not Obed, not even King David, but King Jesus.
In Jesus’ genealogy, we see that Jesus himself was a son of David, and so a son of Ruth.
Obed was born to be the one who would save Naomi, the one who would provide for and save her from poverty.
But Jesus was born to be the Son who would save people like you and me from sin.
Look with me Galatians chapter 4 verse 4-7, “When the time came to completion, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then God has made you an heir.”
Friends, all of us have a heart problem.
The bitterness in our hearts and on our lips are symptoms of our sins, our disobedience against God.
The bitterness of our hearts is the taste of poison and that poison is called sin.
Sin keeps us away from God’s love and kindness.
But God, in his perfect timing, sent His Son, Jesus, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law.
Jesus lived a perfect life of obedience and He died on the cross to pay for our sins, the debt we owe God.
He’s the one who offers us a life of love, a life in Him.
It’s what the Christians of old called sweet fellowship with God.
For in Jesus, God’s taken away the bitterness of our sin and death and replaced it with the sweetness of love and life.
Jesus paid the sacrifice to redeem us for God.
But that’s not all! God raised Jesus to life, showing us that He has the power to give us a new life.
It’s a life of knowing and loving Him, a life of sweet fellowship with God.
It’s the sweet life of knowing that even when we’re going through tough times, even in the bitterest times in life, Jesus is with us.
It’s only as we trust in Jesus, as we walk with him, that the bitterness of our lives can be turned sweet.
So, whether you’re a mum, a grandmum, a dad, a granddad, a son, or a daughter (I think I covered everyone!), pray and turn to God.
Ask Him to turn the bitterness in your life into the sweet life He’s sent His Son for you to have.
And don’t just pray for yourself.
Pray for others around you who might be feeling bitter and need to know the sweet fellowship we have with God in Christ.
Kathy Notey’s mother passed away when she was 17.
Despite attending kids church, youth groups, and church, Kathy didn’t have a personal relationship with God.
When her mother was diagnosed with life-threatening cancer, before the children woke up, Kathy’s mother would sneak into her sewing room for quiet time for devotional and prayer.
Kathy knew she was praying for her children, knowing she wouldn’t be around for much longer.
Kathy left her faith in her 20s but returned to Church in her 30s, trusting Jesus as her Lord, not just her mother’s Lord.
That’s the legacy Kathy’s mum left for her.
Who would you pray for? I’d like you to think about five people you know and pray for them.
You can write their names down in your Companion booklet and pray for them on each weekday of the week:
Day 1: Pray for a family member who doesn’t follow Jesus.
Day 2: Pray for a friend or a work colleague, or a fellow student who doesn’t know Jesus.
Day 3: Pray for acquaintances like neighbours, doctors, or the person taking your order for food.
Day 4: Pray for former acquaintances who don’t see you often.
Day 5: Pray for those who’ve drifted from Christian fellowship or lost their faith, that they would come back to their senses, like Kathy.
And so, what do you with a sweet bride who becomes a bitter mother-in-law?
Pray that she will turn to Christ and find sweet fellowship in him.
For ‘tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, who builds households through mothers and who renews our lives by giving us his.
Here are three questions for us to think about this week:
1. What do you think turns a sweet bride into a bitter mother-in-law (or a bitter wife)?
2. Are we holding onto grudges or being bitter to anyone / in any part of our lives?
3. How do we turn to Christ to find sweetness in our lives?
‘tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, who builds households through mothers and who renews our lives by giving us his.
Let’s pray, “’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to take Him at His word;Just to rest upon His promise; Just to know, Thus saith the Lord.
Lord, please forgive us for the sins we’ve committed against you, in thought, word and deed. We feel its effect on us as the bitterness of sin poisons the sweetness of life. Father, by your Spirit, help us to trust in Jesus, for it’s in Him alone that we’re cleansed from sin’s bitterness. Father, please be merciful to anyone here who still has a heart darkened by sin, that they may know Jesus and taste sweet fellowship with you. For we pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”